Hollywood's Nod to Single Dads

True confession: The last two men I used the "L word" with were single fathers. No big surprise there, because as a single mother I tended to meet other parents in that situation. It's not an exaggeration to say that I actually sought single dads when I was dating and my daughter was still at home. I knew they'd understand what I was up against and be understanding when homework assistance trumped cocktails. Sure, their lives were more complicated than those of carefree bachelors, but seeing them in parenting mode was enormously appealing and spoke to the kind of people they were.

Due to the divorce rate, single fathers are everywhere -- except, perhaps, in the movies. Being a movie buff, I can immediately list a dozen films that feature single mothers as leading characters, including Erin Brockovich, E.T., Jerry Maguire, Chocolat, Mermaids, Mask, As Good As It Gets, Look Who's Talking and many more. Single fathers? Not so much. That is, until this year.

I was surprised and pleased to see that three of my favorite films of the year -- The Descendants, Moneyball and We Bought a Zoo -- were all anchored by single father characters. It was disarming to see three of our hunkiest actors -- George Clooney and Brad Pitt (both Oscar-nominated) and Matt Damon, who in real life are good friends -- in roles where they threw themselves into the murky waters of single parenting with such gusto. Like watching single mother characters, these fathers made mistakes, but the struggle is eminently watchable.

[Related: Oscars 2012: The Year of the Seasoned Actor]

Clooney's character in The Descendants is such a workaholic that he barely knows his daughters, a fact that comes into sharp relief when their mother becomes incapacitated. Damon's character in We Bought a Zoo is floundering badly after the death of his wife, and, like Clooney's character, is unsure how to break through the angry shell of his teenager. Pitt's character in Moneyball, while not a full-time father for his daughter, learns about career sacrifice in order to maintain his relationship with her.

I thought it was interesting that two of the three single dads were thrust reluctantly into that role because of death or incapacitation. When you look at the list of female-driven movies above, every single one is parenting alone because of a loutish ex -- none of them is a widow. Perhaps Hollywood needs that kind of excuse to make fathers full-time parents? It's food for thought. But it's better to have single dads in movies as widowers than not at all. Think of the inspiration they provide for other fathers also trying to balance career and parenting requirements.

So here's to more single dads in movies and TV. In the meantime, a list of my favorites:

Single fathers who are widowers:

Dan in Real Life: Charming, poignant film starring Steve Carell about a newspaper columnist trying to both find love again and get along with his daughters.

Sleepless in Seattle: Tom Hanks' character has lost his wife to cancer, and his son is determined to set him up.

The Courtship of Eddie's Father: See above, only substitute Glen Ford for Tom Hanks.

Overboard: Kurt Russell's character is doing such a terrible job raising his four sons that he decides to con an amnesiac heiress into thinking she's his wife.

The Holiday: Jude Law's character has an affair with Cameron Diaz's character but doesn't tell her he's a father, wanting to protect his daughters from additional hurt.

Jersey Girl: Ben Affleck's character loses his wife in childbirth and raises his child alone, eventually being rescued by meeting the right woman.

The American President: Michael Douglas plays -- you guessed it -- a chief executive whose wife has died, leaving him sole custody of a teenage girl. His life improves immeasurably when he meets -- you guessed it -- the right woman.

The Sound of Music: Captain von Trapp (Christopher Plummer) is a rigid military father to his large family after his wife dies, but is softened and finds his parenting skills, with a help from a singing nun.

Single fathers who are separated from their children's mother:

Twilight: I love Bella's father, Charlie, for toughing it out when his daughter falls in love with a vampire. Their discussion about safe sex is priceless.

War of the Worlds: Tom Cruise's character is the kind of guy you want minding your kids on the weekend when aliens decide to attack the planet. He wields a mean weapon and knows how to make sandwiches.

Kramer vs. Kramer: A groundbreaking movie that first asked the question whether mothers were the best parent simply because of their gender. Dustin Hoffman rocks as a father utterly unprepared for single parenting.

Mrs. Doubtfire: Robin Williams' character will do anything to get his three kids through his divorce, including impersonating a British nanny who helps his family navigate their new life.

Definitely Maybe: Ryan Reynolds' character tries to ease his daughter's pain about his divorce from her mother by telling her the romantic story of how they met.

I Am Sam: Sean Penn's character is a developmentally disabled man forced to raise his 7-year-old daughter (Dakota Fanning) when they are abandoned by her mother. Have tissues on hand.

The Pursuit of Happyness: Will Smith's character's wife leaves him for a better opportunity, leaving him to care for their small son while fighting homelessness. See above re: tissues.

[Related: Pursuit of Happyness: Chris Gardner on Reinventing Yourself]

Films that mix single fathers and single mothers with delightful results:

One Fine Day: Featuring George Clooney and Michelle Pfeiffer, this movie was an overlooked 1996 gem that allowed both major stars to share the spotlight. Both single parents with stressful urban lives, the protagonists are forced to cooperate and share babysitting duties as each has a major career development over the course of "one fine day." If you've ever felt badly about losing a child in a crowd or feeding the wrong food to a visitor, this movie's for you.

The Parent Trap: Starring Hayley Mills, Brian Keith and Maureen O'Hara, the parents of twins separated at birth are brought back together again when they meet at summer camp. Each parent clearly has something the other lacks, so the audience roots for them to reconnect. Rent this one -- not the one with Lindsay Lohan -- for the less cloying child star. You might look at your ex in a whole new light.

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